Baby

I wrote the beginning of this post about a month ago, a few days after Henrik was born, but didn't get to finishing it until today.

So, I had a baby.  Again.  This time it was a boy.  So now I have a son.  How weird is that?!  A son.  As I write this, he's sleeping away in his cot in the NICU at the PLC.  He's not super sick, just needs some help getting his blood sugars sorted out before he can come home.  But I don't really feel like his mother, yet.  I know it will come, but it's a little hard to feel like all I have is a 6 inch scar and no baby in the room upstairs.

Yes, a 6 inch scar.  I haven't actually measured it, but that's about what it is.  I had another c-section.  I haven't posted much about my journey leading up to Henrik's birth, but most of my few readers will know that another c-section was on the top of my list of things to avoid.  I planned, fretted, planned, argued, planned some more, and still I ended up giving birth by c-section again.  But I'm OK with it all.  Why?

I'm ok with it because I feel like I got to choose - sort of.  I would love to have been able to choose to give birth naturally, with no interventions, but that is apparently not in the plans for me.  My babies are big.  And though I'm not a small woman, I guess I'm just not big enough in the right places.  With Bryn, I laboured with an epidural for about 20 hours, until the doctors and nurses gave up on us and sent me to the OR for a c-section.  I felt like I wasn't given any choice, and I certainly wasn't given the chance to discuss risks and benefits or options with anyone. I don't even remember signing the consent form.  

But with Henrik, the doctors and nurses discussed with us the challenges we were facing along with our options.  And when it was time to decide, they left the room quietly (at my request) to allow Arvid and I (and our Super Doula, Jenny) to discuss their recommendations and pray for guidance. In the end, my two babies' births were almost identical (about 9 hours of pain med free labour with Henrik, followed by a c-section), but what a difference it made to be respected by my 'team'!  To be treated like I not only had the right to make the decisions, but was intelligent enough to do so was amazing.  I'll never go back to the first hospital for another birth, but the second hospital was great. 

So here he is:  Henrik Blaine, born April 11, 2011 at 6:23 AM, about 21 hours after my water broke, 12 hours of walking to try to get my labour started, about 9 hours of induced labour, and a c-section.  9 pounds, 9 ounces, 54 centimetres long. 

Special thanks to Jenny for taking the pictures - I'm going to insist on having a photographer in the room when I have my next baby (if there is a next one).