Huntmeadow Playground

Last week we found a new park just by wandering around our neighborhood (by car). It's small, which is great. I don't have to worry so much about Henrik falling off big stuff. It was a little dirty - litter and branches from the most recent hail storm. But it's remote, with no busy streets around it, and it has shade to sit in. Because it's so close to home, I think this is my new favorite.

Bryn has recently discovered see-saws.  She loves them!

4 days in the 'Wack

In Chilliwack I wanted to do stuff that we just can't do in Calgary.  I really wanted to make some memories with Bryn that she would love and would never forget.  To a certain degree, I think we succeeded. We spent one day at the waterpark, and another at the beach, both things that we don't have here in Calgary.  Bryn hated the slides, refusing to go on any but the baby ones.  And she hated the beach, refusing to go near the water. Sigh.  My nervous little girl!  I do hope that she grows out of it someday, at least most of it.

Bryn and I did make a sand castle. A very sad little sand castle.  What can I say?  I'm very much a city girl!  She had fun doing that.  And she liked our picnic lunch.  She always likes lunch.

 Henrik, however, LOVED the beach. He liked the water, walked all over the sand barefoot, and picked up everything.  He and Arvid had a great time.

I am not a fly.

We went on our annual family vacation to British Columbia this year.  My parents have a cabin at the Shuswap Lake, and are very generous in sharing it with all us kids!  Arvid's parents live in the Fraser Valley, and we try to visit them there each summer, too.  This year, we combined the two trips, spending 4 days at the cabin, then driving on for 4 days with Arvid's family.

I had every intention of doing several vacation posts, or at least writing down a few things each day to share, but it was a really low-key vacation, so I didn't make many notes.  The most eventful day was the first day.  The kids were great for the 8 or so hours in the car, with only a few fights.  Henrik growls.  Bryn doesn't like Henrik to growl.  So she screams at him to stop, then continues to cry and scream when he doesn't stop.  It was a lovely half hour, but in all the trip was surprisingly calm.

Then we arrived at the cabin.  The first thing Henrik did was fall halfway down the main stairs.  They're carpeted, with good padding underneath, so he wasn't really harmed.  A few minutes after he calmed down from that fright,  he ran head-long into the edge of a door.  A very solid door.  This is the result. The good thing is that he got most of his injuries out of the way on that first day, and did pretty well until the last full day there, when he managed to topple the high-chair over backwards!  What am I going to do when this boy starts really climbing on things!



Bryn loved the lake.  Well, not the lake so much.  The weather wasn't super hot, so we didn't spend much time in the water.  But she loved the toys and playing outside on the deckm especially with Grandpops.  On that first day, Grandpops  found a tiny frog outside and asked Bryn if she wanted to see it.  Bryn's response: "Yeah! The frog won't lick me because I am not a fly!"  Yeah, she has some pretty serious critter phobias, but at least she looked at the frog with Grandpops!

Harvest Glen Park

We've decided to embark on a search for the perfect playground.  After Henrik's morning nap, we get in the car, and wander the neighbourhoods looking for a new go-to place to play.

Here's what we thought of the one we found today.


 It's a little too open to the street, but that street is not super busy. There are four swings, two of each kind, which is great if there is more than just my two little ones.





There is some shade, but it felt too far away from the play structures for me to install myself there on a blanket, so we sat in the sun.





My favourite feature was this great little mini structure that both kids liked a lot. It was the perfect size for Henrik.
 


But in the end, Bryn said that she didn't like it, and that she wanted to try a different park next time.  So the search continues! 

A Great Article on Mommyhood!

OK, so this post is mostly so that I can find this blog post again, but you all should read this!  I think all Mom's suffer from this a little, but I'm guessing it's especially true for those of us with PPD.  I remember people saying things like 'Isn't being a Mom wonderful!?' just after Bryn was born.  And I want to say 'No, it stinks.  I hate every minute of it.'  But you just can't say that to people.  It's just not done.  Anyway, I can say it now (maybe not quite so bluntly), but it still doesn't feel any better.

Had a bad day yesterday.  Not much yelling, but I just felt grumpy all day.  It didn't help that something's bugging Henrik so he spent a lot of time screaming yesterday.  I just have such a hard time with the screaming.  Any ideas for dealing with that?

Here are some recent cute pics of the kiddies.  Bryn says to me (way too often, it seems): 'Even when you're mad, you're still my Mommy!'  And she's right.  Even when I'm not at my best, I still love my beautiful little ones!

Merry Christmas to All...

So, I've obviously dropped the ball on the 'Learning Happiness' experiment.  Not that I don't think I would have learned lots from Laura's blog series, but I decided it was time to get some real help for my postpartum depression.  So hubby and I went to the doctor and got me some drugs.  Not what I expected out of motherhood, but I'm relieved to finally be doing something concrete to help lift the gloom.

Strangely enough, this Christmas season has been one of the least stressful of my adult life.  We remembered to budget for Christmas this year (we completely forgot last year), so there was money for presents, decorating, and baking.  I also decided that I wanted to be done the present shopping by the end of November.  I didn't quite make it, but it made for a pretty relaxing December. I highly recommend that goal:  I'll be doing it again next year.



















In December I did a lot of baking with Bryn, who is a really good helper. She's awesome at cutting out sugar cookies, and loves to stir anything. We made fudge (3 batches, one of which was so bad we had to throw it away), 4 pans of Nanaimo bars, 3 batches of sugar cookies, shortbread, and peanut brittle bowls. Plus we made cookies for Santa with Bryn's cousins.  I love Christmas baking.  I should have taken more pictures - maybe next year.  And next year, an Aunty Jo's Fabulous Nanaimo Bar tutorial!

But for this year, I'm ready for Christmas.  My kiddies are all tucked into their beds.  They won't stay asleep all night - at least Henrik won't.  He never does.  But they're asleep for now, and that is wonderful.  In fact, as I've been writing, he's woken up and put himself back to sleep.  For the third time in the last 2 hours.  Ugh.

We followed a tradition from my family, giving each of the kids Pajammies (as Bryn sometimes calls them) for Christmas, having them open those gifts tonight before going to bed so they can wear their special PJ's to bed tonight.  Arvid picked Bryn's out - he did a great job!

Merry Christmas to all!

Week 2 - Learning Happiness

So, I think, mostly by default, that this will be a weekly series instead of the planned daily.  I just don't have the energy to write at the end of every day. And I'm guessing that many of Laura's happiness ideas will require longer than a day to try.

This week, Laura talks about life commandments.  That kids aren't born knowing how to find real happiness, that we as parents have to teach them.  Life commandments like:

• giving to others makes us feel happy too
• thinking about another person’s feelings will help you too, when they decide to consider your feelings in return
• that your conscience will keep you safe when mommy can’t
• that family bonds are strong and super valuable 

Since this experiment is not only about helping my kids to be happy, but learning to be happy myself, I should be thinking about what life commandments I want to live by, beyond the stuff we learn at church.  I'll admit, I haven't done a very good job of thinking through that this week.  I'll try to incorporate that this next week, I guess.

As for what life commandments I'm teaching my kids, I think there's a gap between what I want them to be learning and what I'm actually teaching them.  I want them to be patient, but I don't show much patience.  I want them to be loving and kind, but I'm not really very nice to them sometimes.  There are things I do OK at:  I want them to be generous with the good things God has given them, and I think I'm a decent example of that.  I want them to love each other, and somehow they've learned that - they are so sweet to each other!  

I think maybe I'm too focused on obedience, and not enough on love.  I'll have to work on that.

Next week: "Invite a Friend"

Day #1 (let's be honest - week #1) of the learning happiness experiment

So, my daily blog post just didn't happen this week.  We were all sick with a nasty cold this week - coughs, plugged noses, pink eye, the works! Any extra time I had this week I spent sleeping - not blogging.  But we're on the mend, and my Henrik even slept through the night last night - 12 full, blissful hours - for the first time in his 7 months.  Needless to say I had an unusual amount of energy today.

On to the experiment...

The first day of Laura's series is all about telling our kids what to expect because:

"It’s human nature -- typically, we don’t like surprises. Little people, who are still learning the ropes and are easily overwhelmed, are even more afraid of the unknown, generally. So -- it’s only fair that we clue them in, have little chats about what they can expect, and let them know what we expect."

The challenge with this one is that's it's already something I do with my Bryn, so this wasn't something new.  But I do find that sometimes, when I give her a few warnings that something she's not fond of (bedtime, leaving her cousins' houses, etc) is going to happen soon, sometimes she responds better - no kicking and screaming fights and tantrums.  Sometimes.  I do think it's worth it.  When she responds badly anyway, I can forgive my mean mommy response ('I'll pick you up and take you out anyway') if I've given her fair warning.  

And the more often I can forgive myself the better. 

Tomorrow: Life Commandments 

I'm coming out...

I have postpartum depression.

It's not something I like to talk about much - in fact I've only told one person outside my family.  It's mild and pretty manageable; most days I function just fine. But my emotions range from pretty grumpy to downright angry most days.  A good day means I'm just blah.

I've been trying to find something - anything almost to take the edge off my constant grumpiness.  I'm nursing my boy  (the absolute best part of motherhood for me), so I can't take anti-depressants or even St. John's Wort.  And I didn't hear about the great mood-lifting properties of placenta pills until it was way too late!  I already eat pretty well, and I get as much sleep as I can with a 7 month old that hasn't learned to sleep through the night, so that leaves, well, not much.  I came across this blog series  - "31 Days to Happier Children" and decided that I could give it a shot.  I want my kids to believe that they had a happy mommy, even if it is a bit of an act.

So here's the deal. Each evening I'm going to read one post about Laura's ideas on learning happiness.  The next day I'm going to try the idea.  That evening I will blog about my experience and read about tomorrow's idea.  Simple, eh?  Well, I've never written a daily blog.  And life is crazy, so I may not actually succeed.  But I'm going to try.

Tomorrow - Day #1: What to Expect

Baby

I wrote the beginning of this post about a month ago, a few days after Henrik was born, but didn't get to finishing it until today.

So, I had a baby.  Again.  This time it was a boy.  So now I have a son.  How weird is that?!  A son.  As I write this, he's sleeping away in his cot in the NICU at the PLC.  He's not super sick, just needs some help getting his blood sugars sorted out before he can come home.  But I don't really feel like his mother, yet.  I know it will come, but it's a little hard to feel like all I have is a 6 inch scar and no baby in the room upstairs.

Yes, a 6 inch scar.  I haven't actually measured it, but that's about what it is.  I had another c-section.  I haven't posted much about my journey leading up to Henrik's birth, but most of my few readers will know that another c-section was on the top of my list of things to avoid.  I planned, fretted, planned, argued, planned some more, and still I ended up giving birth by c-section again.  But I'm OK with it all.  Why?

I'm ok with it because I feel like I got to choose - sort of.  I would love to have been able to choose to give birth naturally, with no interventions, but that is apparently not in the plans for me.  My babies are big.  And though I'm not a small woman, I guess I'm just not big enough in the right places.  With Bryn, I laboured with an epidural for about 20 hours, until the doctors and nurses gave up on us and sent me to the OR for a c-section.  I felt like I wasn't given any choice, and I certainly wasn't given the chance to discuss risks and benefits or options with anyone. I don't even remember signing the consent form.  

But with Henrik, the doctors and nurses discussed with us the challenges we were facing along with our options.  And when it was time to decide, they left the room quietly (at my request) to allow Arvid and I (and our Super Doula, Jenny) to discuss their recommendations and pray for guidance. In the end, my two babies' births were almost identical (about 9 hours of pain med free labour with Henrik, followed by a c-section), but what a difference it made to be respected by my 'team'!  To be treated like I not only had the right to make the decisions, but was intelligent enough to do so was amazing.  I'll never go back to the first hospital for another birth, but the second hospital was great. 

So here he is:  Henrik Blaine, born April 11, 2011 at 6:23 AM, about 21 hours after my water broke, 12 hours of walking to try to get my labour started, about 9 hours of induced labour, and a c-section.  9 pounds, 9 ounces, 54 centimetres long. 

Special thanks to Jenny for taking the pictures - I'm going to insist on having a photographer in the room when I have my next baby (if there is a next one).