A Great Article on Mommyhood!

OK, so this post is mostly so that I can find this blog post again, but you all should read this!  I think all Mom's suffer from this a little, but I'm guessing it's especially true for those of us with PPD.  I remember people saying things like 'Isn't being a Mom wonderful!?' just after Bryn was born.  And I want to say 'No, it stinks.  I hate every minute of it.'  But you just can't say that to people.  It's just not done.  Anyway, I can say it now (maybe not quite so bluntly), but it still doesn't feel any better.

Had a bad day yesterday.  Not much yelling, but I just felt grumpy all day.  It didn't help that something's bugging Henrik so he spent a lot of time screaming yesterday.  I just have such a hard time with the screaming.  Any ideas for dealing with that?

Here are some recent cute pics of the kiddies.  Bryn says to me (way too often, it seems): 'Even when you're mad, you're still my Mommy!'  And she's right.  Even when I'm not at my best, I still love my beautiful little ones!

Merry Christmas to All...

So, I've obviously dropped the ball on the 'Learning Happiness' experiment.  Not that I don't think I would have learned lots from Laura's blog series, but I decided it was time to get some real help for my postpartum depression.  So hubby and I went to the doctor and got me some drugs.  Not what I expected out of motherhood, but I'm relieved to finally be doing something concrete to help lift the gloom.

Strangely enough, this Christmas season has been one of the least stressful of my adult life.  We remembered to budget for Christmas this year (we completely forgot last year), so there was money for presents, decorating, and baking.  I also decided that I wanted to be done the present shopping by the end of November.  I didn't quite make it, but it made for a pretty relaxing December. I highly recommend that goal:  I'll be doing it again next year.



















In December I did a lot of baking with Bryn, who is a really good helper. She's awesome at cutting out sugar cookies, and loves to stir anything. We made fudge (3 batches, one of which was so bad we had to throw it away), 4 pans of Nanaimo bars, 3 batches of sugar cookies, shortbread, and peanut brittle bowls. Plus we made cookies for Santa with Bryn's cousins.  I love Christmas baking.  I should have taken more pictures - maybe next year.  And next year, an Aunty Jo's Fabulous Nanaimo Bar tutorial!

But for this year, I'm ready for Christmas.  My kiddies are all tucked into their beds.  They won't stay asleep all night - at least Henrik won't.  He never does.  But they're asleep for now, and that is wonderful.  In fact, as I've been writing, he's woken up and put himself back to sleep.  For the third time in the last 2 hours.  Ugh.

We followed a tradition from my family, giving each of the kids Pajammies (as Bryn sometimes calls them) for Christmas, having them open those gifts tonight before going to bed so they can wear their special PJ's to bed tonight.  Arvid picked Bryn's out - he did a great job!

Merry Christmas to all!

Week 2 - Learning Happiness

So, I think, mostly by default, that this will be a weekly series instead of the planned daily.  I just don't have the energy to write at the end of every day. And I'm guessing that many of Laura's happiness ideas will require longer than a day to try.

This week, Laura talks about life commandments.  That kids aren't born knowing how to find real happiness, that we as parents have to teach them.  Life commandments like:

• giving to others makes us feel happy too
• thinking about another person’s feelings will help you too, when they decide to consider your feelings in return
• that your conscience will keep you safe when mommy can’t
• that family bonds are strong and super valuable 

Since this experiment is not only about helping my kids to be happy, but learning to be happy myself, I should be thinking about what life commandments I want to live by, beyond the stuff we learn at church.  I'll admit, I haven't done a very good job of thinking through that this week.  I'll try to incorporate that this next week, I guess.

As for what life commandments I'm teaching my kids, I think there's a gap between what I want them to be learning and what I'm actually teaching them.  I want them to be patient, but I don't show much patience.  I want them to be loving and kind, but I'm not really very nice to them sometimes.  There are things I do OK at:  I want them to be generous with the good things God has given them, and I think I'm a decent example of that.  I want them to love each other, and somehow they've learned that - they are so sweet to each other!  

I think maybe I'm too focused on obedience, and not enough on love.  I'll have to work on that.

Next week: "Invite a Friend"

Day #1 (let's be honest - week #1) of the learning happiness experiment

So, my daily blog post just didn't happen this week.  We were all sick with a nasty cold this week - coughs, plugged noses, pink eye, the works! Any extra time I had this week I spent sleeping - not blogging.  But we're on the mend, and my Henrik even slept through the night last night - 12 full, blissful hours - for the first time in his 7 months.  Needless to say I had an unusual amount of energy today.

On to the experiment...

The first day of Laura's series is all about telling our kids what to expect because:

"It’s human nature -- typically, we don’t like surprises. Little people, who are still learning the ropes and are easily overwhelmed, are even more afraid of the unknown, generally. So -- it’s only fair that we clue them in, have little chats about what they can expect, and let them know what we expect."

The challenge with this one is that's it's already something I do with my Bryn, so this wasn't something new.  But I do find that sometimes, when I give her a few warnings that something she's not fond of (bedtime, leaving her cousins' houses, etc) is going to happen soon, sometimes she responds better - no kicking and screaming fights and tantrums.  Sometimes.  I do think it's worth it.  When she responds badly anyway, I can forgive my mean mommy response ('I'll pick you up and take you out anyway') if I've given her fair warning.  

And the more often I can forgive myself the better. 

Tomorrow: Life Commandments 

I'm coming out...

I have postpartum depression.

It's not something I like to talk about much - in fact I've only told one person outside my family.  It's mild and pretty manageable; most days I function just fine. But my emotions range from pretty grumpy to downright angry most days.  A good day means I'm just blah.

I've been trying to find something - anything almost to take the edge off my constant grumpiness.  I'm nursing my boy  (the absolute best part of motherhood for me), so I can't take anti-depressants or even St. John's Wort.  And I didn't hear about the great mood-lifting properties of placenta pills until it was way too late!  I already eat pretty well, and I get as much sleep as I can with a 7 month old that hasn't learned to sleep through the night, so that leaves, well, not much.  I came across this blog series  - "31 Days to Happier Children" and decided that I could give it a shot.  I want my kids to believe that they had a happy mommy, even if it is a bit of an act.

So here's the deal. Each evening I'm going to read one post about Laura's ideas on learning happiness.  The next day I'm going to try the idea.  That evening I will blog about my experience and read about tomorrow's idea.  Simple, eh?  Well, I've never written a daily blog.  And life is crazy, so I may not actually succeed.  But I'm going to try.

Tomorrow - Day #1: What to Expect